My name is Scott and I’m an addict. It started in Middle School, I got hooked on my first try, ‘slinging lolypops’. Within a few hours I knew it was what I needed to survive. Everyone around me thought it was so cool they started doing it too. They however, were able to walk away, to lead the normal life.
Time went by and I yearned for it, although I didn’t touch it again for a few years until I joined a rock band it hit me even harder. As the leader of the band it was my duty to do it more and lead the rest of the band to do it too. Some members couldn’t take it and they moved on, while I watched others travel down the same dark path I had. 10 years later they are still hooked and I blame myself.
After high school I got clean for a while. At my first real job in college I started sneaking out back to just finish that last little bit I hadn’t finished the night before. I had no idea what I was doing. I’d come back from break late and obviously frazzled, but was still able to maintain my composure. Sometimes I even did it right at my desk, not even a care about getting caught.
Then I met my girlfriend and sobered up. She wanted to be the focus of my life and I clearly couldn’t manage both, so I chose her, for a while… As time went by I started dabbling again. Now with her as a support system I was able to get even deeper than ever before. Several times I lost everything I had been working towards and had to start over from scratch, but my wife was always there to support me. They say you’ll fail a lot before you succeed, but I still don’t know how to make that happen. Last year I pushed so hard I ended up in the hospital with a heart arrhythmia I was doing 2 at once and was even dipping into my friend’s stuff.
I’ve done what I thought were the right things, I worked my way up the corporate ladder, I went back to college to earn an MBA, I’ve attended numerous meetings and networking events to find a support, but I still haven’t found the right way. I’ve spent every cent of savings I had and even borrowed money from friends and family. I’ve spent countless nights away from my family in a dark little room, oblivious, mumbling things only I could understand, writing on walls, staring blindly at the computer.
They tell me the more I fail the more likely I am to ultimately succeed, I’m scared I’ll never find my way, I’m out of ideas and hoping you could help. Since I can’t quit, I’m looking for others to do it with me. Please let me know what you’re into.
Scott – Serial Entrepreneur & Startup Owner